We thought we had it all figured out. My son had committed early to a Division I program. The recruiting coach believed in him, the fit seemed perfect, and we were excited for the future. But as any parent of an athlete knows, the journey can take unexpected turns.
The Coaching Change
Shortly after my son committed, the recruiting coach who had championed him was fired. The head coach brought in new assistants — and with them, a whole new vision. They even brought in players at my son’s same position, sending a clear signal about where their priorities lay. Suddenly, the excitement and trust we’d felt began to fade.
Shut Out, Ignored and the Rise
Despite his effort to communicate directly with the head coach, my son was ignored. Calls went unanswered, and he was treated like an afterthought. The same program that had once pursued him now acted as though he didn’t exist.
Eventually, my son faced a hard truth: he wasn’t being valued by the very program he had once been thrilled to join. With courage and clarity, he decided to decommit. It wasn’t easy — it was heartbreaking — but it turned out to be the best decision he ever made.
He found a new school where the coaches believed in him, invested in him, and gave him a real opportunity. He flourished so much so that he went on to become Player of the Year in that conference. The kid they ignored became the player they wish they’d kept.
The Takeaway for Parents & Athletes
We often put coaches and programs on a pedestal, believing their attention defines our athletes’ worth. But sometimes coaches don’t see what’s right in front of them. That’s not a reflection of your child’s talent or value it’s a reflection of a coach’s vision (or lack thereof).
The lesson? Bet on yourself. Bet on your athlete. Programs, coaches, and situations can change overnight — but your work ethic, your character, and your belief in yourself travel with you wherever you go.
If you’re navigating the recruiting process, remember: it’s not just about getting an offer — it’s about finding a place that truly values you. Our family’s journey taught us this the hard way.
Want to Equip Your Athlete Mentally for the Ups & Downs?
The Mental Game Plan was built exactly for moments like this — to help athletes (and parents) build the mindset, confidence, and skills to thrive through setbacks and seize opportunities.