Parents Can’t Want It More
One of the biggest mistakes we make as parents is wanting success more than our kids do. We see the potential, the talent, and the opportunity — and we push. But here’s the truth: no matter how much you want it, it won’t matter unless they want it more.
I used to tell my boys:
“You’re my sons before you’re basketball players. If you don’t want to be here, just say the word and we’ll walk away.”
That wasn’t about letting them quit easily. It was about reminding them the hunger had to be theirs. If I was dragging them forward, eventually the game would feel like pressure instead of passion.
Every Kid Is Wired Differently
The key to keeping that hunger alive is understanding who your child is and how they work. My younger son wasn’t a morning person. Getting him up for early workouts took patience and a softer push. If I treated him the same way as his brother, I would have crushed him.
My older son? A self-starter. He was up before me, already tying his shoes and heading to the gym. He didn’t need encouragement — he thrived on his own drive.
Support the Drive, Don’t Replace It
Recognizing those differences taught me that my role wasn’t to impose my way, but to create an environment where their natural wiring could flourish. For one, that meant patience. For the other, it meant stepping back and letting him lead.
When you understand your child’s style and combine it with their own hunger, you give them ownership. The work becomes a choice, not a chore. A passion, not a pressure.
The Takeaway
Your belief can light the spark, but their hunger has to fuel the fire. And the best way to protect that hunger is to respect who they are — not forcing every kid into the same mold, but guiding them in a way that keeps the fire theirs.
Because at the end of the day, they have to want it more than you.